YGO Know your Stars, DivineQueenYeiweh style!
by DivineQueenYeiweh
Summary: What happens when Yeiweh writes her own version of YGO Know your Stars? The unexpected, that's what! Tears, drama, humor, and pure unadulterated PG13 horror! Rated mostly for language and mature themes.
1. Anzu Mazaki

Chapter 1-Anzu Mazaki:

It's time again for the cast of YGO to face the dreaded Know your Stars chair. This version has been done time and again. But when DivineQueenYeiweh writes it…you can be sure to see the unexpected in this. Rated for some language issues. And we'll start with the one girl that most people LOVE to hate…Anzu Mazaki! DivineQueenYeiweh is not responsible for any material that may be offensive. Blame the ghost of the Know your Stars chair!

Know your Stars voice in _Italics_

Anzu Mazaki got a note in her locker supposedly from Atem to come to the gym for a 'date.' Like Atem's even interested. Anyway, she went into the gym of Domino High and saw a chair in the middle of the room. She sat on it, and it began!

_Know your Stars…know your stars…know your stars…Anzu Mazaki…she has a crush on Mai Kujaku!_

Anzu replied, "NO I DON'T! I only have love for my Pharaoh!"

_Anzu Mazaki…she wants to have sex with Mai Kujaku!_

"UGH! You're so gross! I'm not gay!

_Sure…just keep telling yourself that! Anzu Mazaki…she's pregnant with Mai's child!_

"What the hell? Like that's even possible…"

_Anything is possible…for a slut!_

"I am NOT a slut! How many times do I have to keep on telling you people that!"

_Then why were you at Mai's house last night?_

"I was returning a book that she lent me. That doesn't mean anything."

_Sure it doesn't…_

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

_Anzu Mazaki…what she doesn't know is that she's a Mary-Sue!_

"WHAT! I'm NOT a freakin' Mary Sue!"

_Sure…just keep on telling yourself that…Mary Sue!_

"UGH!"

_Anzu Mazaki…what you don't know about her is that she works at a strip club to earn money to go to New York!_

"Now THAT is ridiculous! I earn my money for New York in a sensible way!"

_Anzu Mazaki…what you don't know about her is that she wants to be a big porn star!_

"WTF? I HATE porn!"

_Yeah, and I'm the pope! Then explain why you were at the biggest strip club the other night?_

Because the boys made me go...

_Sure they did…Anzu Mazaki…what she doesn't know is that no one gives a damn about her speeches!_

"THAT'S IT! I'M TELLING ATEM!"

_And now you know…Anzu Mazaki…the Mary-Sue porn star wannabe who wants to screw Mai Kujaku and bear her child!_

"NO THEY DON'T! YOU'RE MEAN!

(coughs) _Mary Sue!_


	2. Ryou Bakura

Author's Note: Yami Bakura will have a separate chapter.

Chapter 2- Ryou Bakura 

Soon after Anzu Mazaki was tortured, Ryou Bakura also received a note to report to the auditorium…but his letter was from Yami Bakura, his lover. So…he sat in the haunted chair and it began for him:

Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Ryou Bakura…he doesn't have a British accent…he has an Australian accent!

"Huh? That's not true! How could it be? I AM from England…"

You just keep on telling yourself that…Ryou Bakura…he doesn't love Yami Bakura…he loves Malik Ishtar!

Actually, Marik is his boyfriend, so how could that be?"

Ryou Bakura…he's been cheating on Yami Bakura to be with Malik!

"That's not true! I know my yami can be a bit rough on me…but I do love him so…"

Then why are you always around Malik, hmm?

"Because, he won't leave me alone! I much rather be with my hikari…"

Who is Malik…

"Will you kindly stop that?"

No way…torturing people is far too much fun. Ryou Bakura…he likes to wear the Domino school girl uniform!

"You must be bloody joking! I may be gay, but I am NOT a transvestite!"

Then what's this?

A picture of Ryou in the Lady of Faith outfit from the second season appeared. Ryou

stated:

"Oh that? I couldn't help that…I was stuck in that for a bit, but it doesn't mean

anything…"

Oh…it means everything. Wait until THIS is e-mailed to all the people in your school!

"Don't do that!"

I like to torture people. That's what I live for. And now you know…Ryou Bakura…the

Australian transvestite who in love with Malik Ishtar!

"No they bloody well don't!"

The ghost laughed and stated:

I'm thinking of going after the Pharaoh next. Oh, I have BIG plans for him…VERY big

plans! It will be so sweet to torture him. What do I have in store for our Pharaoh? Well,

you'll just have to read the next chapter to find out how I will torture him!


	3. Pharaoh Atem Mutou

Note: Atem doesn't really have a last name, so I made it the same as Yugi's. Might as well…oh yeah, and also, this chapter is based on a theory that I have about him. That he might be the biblical Rameses. But only because the manga is set 3,000 years ago (where the biblical event was set) and because of his stubbornness. I'm not responsible for any potentially offensive material. Blame the ghost of the Know your Stars chair.

Chapter 3-Pharaoh Atem (Mutou):

Atem got a note supposable from Yugi-chan, his boyfriend, to meet him in the gym for a surprise. He then sat in the chair that was stated on the note. Then…it began:

Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Atem Mutou…he likes to wear dresses and skirts and pretend that he's a girl!

"Where is that voice coming from? And…that's not true! I never wore a skirt in my life!"

Then explain that Pharaoh outfit that you wear… 

"That's not a skirt! We Egyptians don't run around in skirts…"

Sure…you just keep on telling yourself that. Atem Mutou…what you don't know about him is that his eyelashes are actually the result of eye liner!

"What? I don't wear makeup! Makeup's for girls!"

Then you must be a girl because that's exactly what you are wearing! 

"What kind of being are you?"

I am the ghost of the Know your Stars chair. Nice to meet you Pharaoh. You are the very person I've been the MOST anxious to torture…

"You have a sick mind ghost!"

Thank you! I take that as a compliment! Atem Mutou…what you don't know about him is that he's actually the Biblical Rameses!

"What the hell? Now I KNOW that's not true! What kind of game is this?"

The torture game! It's the only game you really can't win. Because…I'm in control.

"You're crazier than Malik, Marik, and Bakura combined!"

Thank you again Pharaoh…or should I call you Rameses?" 

"STOP THAT!"

Ah, this is too much fun! Atem Mutou…he's the only gay Pharaoh around! And, what you don't know is that he tried to be Moses' gay lover…

"You're fuckin' stupid…"

Then why didn't you let the Hebrews go Rameses? 

"Because I AM NOT RAMESES!"

Yes you are. Explain why you are so stubborn then? Atem Mutou…he was in love with Moses in his previous life!

"How could I be when the only lover I have ever had is Yugi-chan?"

Atem Mutou…he doesn't love Yugi! He loves Moses! But Moses wasn't gay, now was he Pharaoh? Atem Mutou…what you don't know about him is that the REAL reason why he got locked in the puzzle is because he wouldn't let the people go…shame on you…

"UGH! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! DON'T MAKE ME DO MY MIND CRUSH ON YOU!"

Atem Mutou…he was locked in the puzzle by the God of the Hebrews Himself. And what Atem doesn't know is that if he had summoned Yahweh, Yahweh would've defeated Zorc immediately! But he was too stubborn to do that. Typical Rameses…

"YOU WATCH! I'M GONNA DESTROY YOU FOR THIS!"

Atem stomped away in a heated anger. The ghost then commented:

And now you know…Atem Mutou…or should I say, Atem Rameses! The gay cross-dressing stubborn biblical Pharaoh that was in love with Moses! 

Anyways…that's what I was talking about when I said the unexpected would happen. Any ideas on who to torture next? Send them in a review! Also accepting torture dialogue for the ghost of the Know your Stars chair! See you next chapter!


End file.
